I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
