True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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