i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We don't watch enough power rangers
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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