My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
