i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
