Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
