If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
