Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
