I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
