is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
