Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hate your face
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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