you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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