Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
