Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
