What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize