If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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