As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
