Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
