She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
