I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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