He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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