i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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