he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
