how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
