Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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