I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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