Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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