I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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