Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
