ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you would pick up someone in the library
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
