you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
