I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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