Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
