talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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