Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
