trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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