Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The adults are the big ones right?
there is glitter all over my balls
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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