I bet he comes in French.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
