I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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