what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
