I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize