the new term for farting is butt boxing.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
