Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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