Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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