Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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