Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
