She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
They have beer where we have blood.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize