Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
