Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
