Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel like death gave me a hand job
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
