apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
operation harelip BJ is a go
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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