all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize