Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
