Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
