girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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