I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
