I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
