? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
