Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
