my vag is so smooth its legendary
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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