I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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