Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
