Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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