wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
