she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
