Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
