Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
