youre lurking in front of me
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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