You smell like stripper and shame
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
