He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
