I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
