There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
