There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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