I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
