Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
