I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize