he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
