Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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