i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
