so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
